This is a true story about an ex-friend of mine I tried to help through his terrifying obsession with a girl, to no avail. I’ve always been the type to observe everything from a safe distance. Seldom am I ever brought into drama, but people come to me for advice a lot. I’ve given my best and most sound counseling to friends, but this particular guy I knew was beyond any form of help. The guy, we’ll call him Andy (I’ll change all the names), made no point to cover up his psycho. From mumbling out loud to himself in public to being physically harmful, Andy was quite the basketcase. I started out knowing very little about him because I kept to myself, and come gym class, when we’d walk the track, I’d have my headphones in most of the time. When a girl began walking around the track with him and conversing with him, I instantly noticed, as I would overhear them talking about some metal bands I coincidentally enjoyed. I’m not really sure how I wound up in this group, but maybe one of them made a move to hang out with me, possibly my hilarious gay friend, Mack.
This group consisted of Andy the psycho, Christa, Mack, and two other girls.. We had our subgroups: Christa and the other two girls were heavily into anime, whilst Mack and I would get into deep conversations about mysteries of life. Andy, on the other hand, mostly sat and listened to Christa. He had an obvious fixation on her, and by the middle of the school year, everyone including Christa knew how desperate he was for her. Christa stated that she did not date, as her father was very protective, and to be honest, she kind of gave of a lesbian vibe, anyway. Despite her efforts to pull away from him, Andy was practically on top of her, forcing hugs she awkwardly yanked away from, and making it known he wanted her. On one occasion, she’d blocked his number after realizing it was a mistake to give it to him. He managed to steal her phone and unblock his number, and upon confrontation, he had admitted to blocking his twin brother’s number in her phone. Andy absolutely hated his twin, and never wanted to be compared to him, which would be expected as his brother was the charismatic one with lots of friends. Yet, Andy said on multiple occasions he’d wished his brother dead and joked about the joyful thought of killing him. I didn’t judge harshly at first, but my friend Mack did. He would let Andy know what a creep he was. One time, Christa and Andy were talking as he’d taken his seat right beside her. He was telling her not to talk to his brother, and somewhere in the conversation, right in the school library, he slapped her for not listening. I’ll never forget the fear and anger on her face, and from then on, even after his awkward apology, Christa let him know he should stay away. Unfortunately, he’d taken to talking to me all along, as I’ve always been a soundboard whether I cared to be or not. Everyday on the bus it was Christa Christa Christa. Somedays he’d just chant her name and get lost in his own thoughts of her. I would try to drop subtle hints that she’s not interested, or, at the very least to treat her normal and give her space. Apart from his desire for Christa, he was the most desperate guy I’d ever met.
He would ask out every girl he met and spoke to for about a day. He would message me on facebook about how he needed a girlfriend, and luckily I’d been in a relationship for 4 years by then and he knew he couldn’t have me. That still didn’t stop him from hitting on me in such menial ways I didn’t realize at first, including a near promposal. He’d once just typed my name, and when I asked him what was up, he simply said, “you’re beautiful...but you look exactly like someone from my past and it makes me sad remembering her everytime I look at you. I miss her.” He definitely had a knack for making people uncomfortable and some days I couldn’t help but ignore him. Christa evaded him till high school graduation, but Andy’s obsession only seemed to intensify. I genuinely thought he could be helped and I could get through to him whilst keeping my own distance, but he set off too many alarms. Firstly, he was training for some entry into a military boot camp of sorts and was discharged for reasons in relation to his mental state, though he wouldn’t get too far into it. Secondly, everyday he would write me at weird times early in the morning to tell me, “Help, I can’t stop thinking of her. I’m in love with her!” This was clearly not true as he’d made moves on me and other girls in the time he’d known her. He made many implications that he would self-harm to get her off his mind but nothing worked.
He’d also somehow convinced himself that she wanted him, and would frequent the grocery store she went to and say hi, though she just kept her head down and ignored him. One morning, as I was browsing social media, he messaged me the usual, “I need her, I love her. Help, I’m going crazy.” I tried to help him analyze his feelings and come to his senses that he was fine and to let her be. I thought, if he’s hitting on other girls, but claiming to love her, let’s see what he says to this. I typed out, “Tell me, what do you truly love about her?” I cannot believe what he sent me next. It was the most ridiculous and degrading message I’d ever read about somebody, “She has such small breasts. I love that about her. I dream of taking her virginity, and I don’t think she’d mind how ‘small’ I am, If you know what I mean.” I felt like I’d read some psycho’s personal diary. Truthfully, this girl was tiny, 18 years old and not even 100 pounds, which made me fear that he’d prey on her.
He was very short, but she appeared vulnerable and smaller than him. I was on the last straw playing therapist for this guy who clearly had no goddamned idea he was scaring this girl. Up to the last time we spoke, the worst thing he’d requested of me was to get ahold of Christa’s new number somehow for him and attempt to lure her in to see him again. He grew frustrated with my decline and pleaded with me to help him obtain her address. Needless to say, the last night we spoke, I wished him well and told him I would not assist him in terrorizing Christa. Then I blocked him, and It’s been about a year since then. I just hope he got the help he needed, and I hope for her sake he hasn’t found out where she lives by now...
